: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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