she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
