How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
