Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just invented taco cereal.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
