Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
