the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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