Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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