She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Two words: blizzard sex
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
