i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
