Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
