actually, I'm a sock model
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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