Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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