I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You can't just leave with hair like that
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
