I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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