yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
