Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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