Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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