if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
