my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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