sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
