this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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