If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
