at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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