Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My ass is underappreciated
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
