That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
