We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm passing your future prison.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
