This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
