just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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