1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
