She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
