it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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