whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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