Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
