Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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