At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
