He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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