i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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