I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
