these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
