Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
