Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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