I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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