Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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