Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
