A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
