R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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