did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
PANTIES FOUND
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
