Just cropdusted the office
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
