Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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