He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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